Real Church Bloopers!
In the interest of time, we all tend to rush through our work. Sometimes, we'll
make a mistake or two in doing so.
As you can see from the real-life bloopers below, sometimes the mistakes we make can be silly, strange, and often very funny! Enjoy, and
thanks! -- Alex :)
Real Church Bloopers...
· Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
· Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
· Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
· For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
· Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
· This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
· Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
· A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
· At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
· The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
· Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
· The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
· Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
· 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
· The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
· Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
and last but not least...
· Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Short Age Humor
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter
than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the
captain of your bowling team.
Do you go to church?
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and
pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service.
Real advertisements 06
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.